ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
