my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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