if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
3pm strippers are depressing
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
