Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
