Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
there was a trapeze. enough said
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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