So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I can't turn off my feet"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
