found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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