i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
