I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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