Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
