Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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