all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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