i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
3 2 1 whiskey
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
