Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
