Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
