i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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