dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
