His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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