I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
