I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
