i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
