i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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