she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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