We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
