i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We don't watch enough power rangers
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
