So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
