i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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