it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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