last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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