1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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