I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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