he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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