oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
