Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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