Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
