Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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