Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
