So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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