Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
