he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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