dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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