I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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