you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
