I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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