I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
