you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
