i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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