i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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