I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
