I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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