The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
