glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
